So ... There I was, minding my own business, driving along the Mary Hill Bypass, when I casually looked in my rear view mirror and saw a woman sitting in my back seat. I asked her what she was doing there, but she didn't answer. I made a realization. She wasn't REALLY sitting in my back seat. she was in the car behind me. I estimated the distance between her front bumper and my back bumper to be approximately .00000000003 mm, but that would be a rough guess.
As near as I can figure it, I had to assume she did not like the speed I was passing the car in the right lane. Keep in mind, I was probably doing the speed limit plus a little bit (that's as accurate as I am going to get without incriminating myself.) When I finally overtook the slower vehicle, and allowed for a comfortable space between my car and the slower one, I signaled to return to the right lane. Unknown to me, Tailgate Lady had noticed that there was almost enough room for her to change lanes too, hoping to cut off the guy I was passing, and speed past me.
As luck would have it, I was in a slightly PRICKY mood, so I slowed enough for her to get a hint and back off. I then finished my passing, and pulled back into the right lane in front of the car I passed.
Away Tailgate Lady went at approximately Mach 2.3. Now I am not sure if she was chewing bubblegum, singing, or merely answering my original question, but I did notice she was flapping her lips about something as she sped off. I promptly put one of my Patented Curse on her, and resumed my commute home, unwinding from an uneventful trip to Kamloops.
Within seconds, a minivan passed me doing about Mach 5. (In layman's terms, that is just a bit faster than 'WTF was that') I knew he was going really fast, as the vortex from the wind in my window caught my hair and stuck it to the inside of the windshield. Since I don't have any on my head, it had to be nose, ears, and back hair. Now this guy was on a mission. He blew through a red light, and promptly had the red light camera, flash a few times. Personally, I think it will only be a blurred image that someone will mistaken for Sasquatch. YES he was going that fast. In a minivan no less. I slapped a Curse on him, and continued on my way, listening to the radio, and re-positioning my hair.
As I came toward the end of the bypass, I noticed some people standing outside of a car, up ahead, in my lane. Using my expert training, I saw the BIG PICTURE (OK Greyhound drivers will get that one), and maneuvered into the next lane to avoid the people.
As I passed, I quickly noticed that Mach 5 Minivan Guy was sitting half way into the intersection, while Tailgate Lady had the front of her car buried about 3 feet under his van. My first reaction was to laugh, but then, I regained my composure and laughed again. In fact, I laughed all the way home. The somber look on both their faces as they assessed the damage to both vehicles.
I am not sure what the cause of the accident was, typically the, "one stopped, one didn't" scenario was the end result. But could it have been a double case of Karma? or ...... Does my Patented Curse really work???
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